Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Two months later.

And I am back. I have many posts written in draft form but never able to post them. The main reason is that they were painful to write and I was so afraid that Dan would read them. I am sure many are asking why would I be afraid of Dan reading my blog? Well because he doesn't realize he is dying. And the things we have had to witness him go through in the past two months have just been awful and nothing I would ever want him to read about when his brain can't process reality anymore.

The absolute hardest part of this whole experience is that he doesn't know he is dying. While that truly is a blessing for him, it's excruciatingly painful for me. I can't say goodbye, I can't tie up loose ends with his help, I can't talk about anything that refers to dying. 

My sweet sweet husband is lying in his hospital bed in my bedroom sleeping now up to 18 hours a day, not eating (other than a few spoonfuls of ice cream every now and again), and now barely communicating with me.

I love him with all my heart and I tell him 100 times a day how much I love him.

Please do the same thing with your loved ones. Life is way too short.




16 comments:

Kristine said...

Gina I cannot imagine how hard that was for you to write. I'm so sorry for this awful, awful situation. Much love to all of you. Xoxo, Kristine

Anonymous said...

I Love you Gina...you are in my thoughts every second. xo

Amanda S. said...

Gina, Dan is blessed with you walking by his side. Your love is boundless. I hope and pray for peace for you, despite the difficulty of everything you all are facing. Lots of love to you.

Traci said...

Oh Gina. My heart breaks for you and your family every day.

Kate said...

how incredibly difficult. That sounds dumb, because that doesn't even begin to describe it. I think of you so often Gina. lots and lots of love.

Megan said...

No one should have to go through your experience. Death is such a hard thing especially at such a young age with young kids. You are an amazingly strong woman. Hugs and prayers for you guys.

Sheena said...

Oh god, Gina. I'm praying for you every single day. Big hugs and lots of love.

Brittany said...

One of the many reasons I love and admire you so - even through your pain you protect your loved ones. My heart and strength go to you and your boys daily.

Melissa said...

Oh Gina - I am crying right now. This makes me so incredibly sad. I think about your family daily.

Jenna M. said...

Grammy Pammy said...

You are such an inspiration to so many! This is ever so painful and sad even for outsiders looking in from afar.

I pray for peace for Dan, for you, for your boys.

<3

Anonymous said...

Thank God you have so much help. You are so blessed that you and the boys have been able to go on vacation twice this summer and are pretty much able to get away from the situation. I wish Dan could do the same. Poor Dan.

Anonymous said...

Love you, G! Jodes XOXOX

lorrae said...

Dan is blessed here on earth by being surrounded by his angels. He seems at peace. You are a wonderful wife and mother. God bless you all.

Unknown said...

Honey. I think of you every day and am amazed by your strength. I admire and respect the love you all share so deeply. I am so sorry you and your wonderful family are going through so much pain. I love you and am here anytime day or night if you need anything. Sending infinite love,hugs and kisses.

Unknown said...
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